Cute Little Sayings

[allison]

What are some sayings that you yourself say or that you hear people say? I think these differ by geographical location so it might be fun to see if we hear some we've never heard before.

My mom, being the southerner that she is, has quite a few sayings. What I can think of right now is:

"It's colder than a witch's tit!"

"He/she can talk the balls off a brass monkey!"

"It's hotter than a whore in church!"

"This place looks like a whorehouse on Sunday morning!"

[Dogstar]

This place looks like Grant took Richmond

This place looks like a hesper

This place looks like a cyclone hit it

Better to be pissed off than pissed on

That is wicked!

The (insert item here) has sh** the bed.

[Read JDM]

One that I use all the time is, "Are you for real?" I once said that to a British colleague visiting America, and he looked at me funny. But on the other hand, I understand the British have an expression, "Mind the gap," which means you should watch your step getting on the subway. I think that's one of the coolest expressions I've heard. I wish I could find an everyday use for it!

[Unforgiven Fan]

two of the sayings I use a lot is:

I'm just ducky


go uck a duck

[TeriB19]

Some of mine:

Not that there's anything wrong with that.......

I'm a font of useless information.....

It's not cold enough in hell yet for me to do...........

Gimme some of that crack you're smoking.........Get off the crackpipe........./How much crack did you smoke?(all variations on the same theme)

He/She looked at me like I had 36 heads........

Oh that can't be good.....

Not before my first cup of coffee please..........:coffee:

[hayley]

lol those are really good i can't think of any! or should i say, i don't know any...:rolleyes:

[faceless kiwi]

My sayings:

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

[Snortmyster]

slipperyer than snot on a brass door knob.

it sucks to be you .

dial 1-800-too f*^#'ing bad wa

if life was a bitch it would be easy.

if you don't like the answer you got you shouldn't have asked the guestion.

never under estimate the power of human stupiddy.

thats why your you and I'm not.

your mouth is writin checks your body can't cash

Frog with glass ass leaps but once if you feel frogy than leap.

sheep dip.

put crap in one hand and want in the other and see which gets full faster.

and thats just a few of the ones I use on almost a daily basis
my wife will tell you i'm full of then little sayins.

[TeriB19]

I've always been very fond of "It sucks to be you". One of the great ones.


;)

[faceless kiwi]

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Wrinkled.... Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I
Grew up

Rehab..... Is for Quitters

STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

[hayley]

lol those are really funny, habe!;)

[Dogstar]

Thought of a couple of more....
Are you on crack?
Are you all right? (As in are you nuts?)
Get a clue...buy one if you have to
Your elevator doesn't quite reach the top
The light is on but nobody's home
He's out there where the buses don't run
He doesn't have all four wheels on the road
She's on transmit but not receive
He's wired for sound

Oh, and for you older folks:
He's so cheap he wouldn't pay a nickel to see the buffalo sh**.

[Siana]

:lol:

[allison]

Originally posted by Snortmyster
put crap in one hand and want in the other and see which gets full faster.

A variation on that one that my mom always used to say to my sisters and me when we asked for something:

"Wish in one hand and pee in the other and see which gets full the fastest."

It used to make me so mad!!!

[Siana]

i'm sure of that :)

[JenRN]

Sometimes up north in PA people would say...

You are full of piss and vinegar! esp. used when someone is acting nutty or spiteful

[Dogstar]

That's a good New England one, too. I told someone from Calif. that I was full of piss & vinegar and the person didn't know what it meant. Regionalisms can be so funny sometimes.

[TeriB19]

I am originally from Philly and that's another one we used, he's full of piss and vinegar. I also like:

He's 5 cans short of a 6 pack
He's 9 cents short of a dime
He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Save up and buy yourself a clue
or a variation
Let's all save up and buy (insert name here) a clue

[Snortmyster]

Here is a couple more real quick,

If someone is lets say a bit of a tramp or sluty ,

I usualy call them a garden tool ie.( a hoe ).

Not the sharpest tool in the shead.

Your so narrow minded you can look through a key hole with both eyes.

or you can stack you thoughts verticaly.

Your head is so far up your butt it's causing advance stages of mental retardation

[Dogstar]

LOL, Snortmyster...Good ones...
A few more....

You're six short of dozen.
You're a few clowns short of a circus.
You're not the brightest bulb in the chandelier

[Lady Valkyrie]

Depression is anger without emotion.

Not so cute but true.

[Snortmyster]

couple more.

If someone does some thing really cool or sweet for me
I'll say something like , I don't care what so and so ( usualy there best friend or something ) says about you your allright
which somrtimes they give you a funny look , or they will say I don't care what so and so says.
Your as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
I'm as busy as a one legged man in a butt kickin contest.
some one askes me how i'm doin it's fair to partly cloudy.


higher than the price of grocerys or now a days gas.

[Dogstar]

LMAO @ the submarine one!

[TeriB19]

The submarine one is funny, and I use the "I don't care what *** says about you" one a lot.

[Dogstar]

My dad uses that one a lot, too, and it still makes me laugh!

[Mulletman]

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did.""


"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done."


"There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone."

[TeriB19]

Growing up when there was thunder my mom would say it's just the angels: 1) Moving furniture or 2) Bowling. I had an aunt that passed away last year and she was somewhat bossy. Now that my kids question thunder, I tell them it's just Aunt AnneMarie telling the angels where to move her furniture, and when there's a lot of thunder, she must not be happy with where the angels put it and is having them move it again. They enjoy that and aren't scared.:angel:

[Mulletman]

lol cute

[allison]

Originally posted by Mulletman
<b>"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."" </b>

OMG, that is so mean...so why am I laughing? LOL

[faceless kiwi]

Originally posted by allison
so why am I laughing? &nbsp;LOL

Coz its darn funny.

[Aimee]

stick that in your pipe and smoke it
another day another donut
(a bb fave) Opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one, some just stink more that others
Whoa-Whoa Turbo
Nunya (meaning none of your business)
okeedokee
What color are your eyes? Blue, oh then you're a quart low
(meaning that you're almost full of shit)

[TeriB19]

LOL good ones, Aimee. I am particular to "put that in your pipe and smoke it". The last one I've never heard before but it's funny as hell.:P

[Mulletman]

i got these from my AOL profile page, everyone always says they love the quotes!

<i>
"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened."

"Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her."

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil." "How's that?" "Completely pointless."

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no
longer know how to use my telephone."

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because theypissed me off."

"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done."

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did.""

"The only difference between graffiti & philosophy is the word fuck..."

"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone."

"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."

"A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires."

"You spend your whole life believing that you're on the right track, only to discover that you're on the wrong train."

"Love is not real, no matter how much you say it or feel it, it's not real. Herpes on the other hand is.... so watch your ass....."

"Do you know the difference between true love and herpes" "No, what?" "Herpes last forver...." </i>

[allison]

Originally posted by Mulletman
<b>"The only difference between graffiti & philosophy is the word fuck..." [/i] </b>


LOL :lol:

[TeriB19]

<b>"Love is not real, no matter how much you say it or feel it, it's not real. Herpes on the other hand is.... so watch your ass....." </b> LMAO!!:lol:

[Dogstar]

<b>"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone." </b>



:lol: :lol: :lol:

[TeriB19]

A few more:
She is as ugly as homemade sin.
He is dumber than a doorknob.
He has the personality of a wet papertowel.
She was beaten at birth with the uglystick.

Not very nice things to say but they always gave me a chuckle.

[Dogstar]

Yeah, I have a few of them, too. They do make me chuckle.


His/her face would drive a freight train off the tracks.
He/She is as dumb as a box of rocks
He/She is as useless as ti*s on a bull

[TeriB19]

A variation I've heard on the last is t**t's on a duck. Another is: "I need a _____ (fill in the blank) like a fish needs bicycle."

[Mulletman]

i see you guys like the qoutes :D

[TeriB19]

They were really funny!

[Dogstar]

Yeah, I loved 'em, MM. Thanks for the laughs!

[GoodGodGirl23]

Here's one you all heard.."When pigs fly!":P

[Mulletman]

heh anytime

[allison]

I think this is southern: "knee-high to a grasshopper", preceded by "I've known you since you were..." or "She's been doing that since she was...".

[GoodGodGirl23]

:P "Who gives a rusty f*ck...or
"Who gives a flying f*uk...:dancing: :dancing:

[GoodGodGirl23]

Oh yeah, the bf always says.."What's that got to do with the price of rice in china?":rolleyes: I hate that expression... prolly cause it comes outta his mouth??:rolleyes:

[Siana]

:)

[allison]

Originally posted by GoodGodGirl23
<b>Oh yeah, the bf always says.."What's that got to do with the price of rice in china?":rolleyes: I hate that expression... prolly cause it comes outta his mouth??:rolleyes: </b>

I've heard it as, "what's that got to do with the price of tea in China."

[Mulletman]

i got one more, i dont know if i posted it already. but here goes.

"One out of four people is crazy. Lets analyze this, imagine you and your three best friends. If its not, them then its YOU."

[TeriB19]

In the case of Souldancer, Luvscott4ever, Dogstar and TeriB19, 4 out of 4 are crazy. That should take the pressure off of some of the others on the bb!:P

[Dogstar]

LOL, yer cracking me up!

[TeriB19]

That's because you are one of the crazy ones, dear!:lol:

[Dogstar]

Don't I know it! LOL

[Mulletman]

lol

[allison]

Originally posted by TeriB19
That's because you are one of the crazy ones, dear!:lol:

Speaking of dears, I wonder where LadyV has been.

[TeriB19]

I'm not sure, dear. :P

[GoodGodGirl23]

Originally posted by allison
Speaking of dears, I wonder where LadyV has been.

:confused:

[GoodGodGirl23]

When I was growing up, and my mom and dad were both still alive... my mom was a true blonde.. my dad would say about my mom
..... "If she had any brains, she'd be dangerous":rolleyes:



hmmmmmmm? Rude dad, dat was kinna rude...:rolleyes:

[JenRN]

I am a true blonde here too!! BELEIVE ME I know all the blonde jokes and polish ones to for that matter!:D

[Mulletman]

dear God, where could she be....?

[GoodGodGirl23]

Originally posted by Mulletman
dear God, where could she be....?

Who? Who you missing Mulletman?:confused: If it's Lady V you are missing, if it's hunting season where she lives, she might be hunting???:bounce: :bounce:

[TeriB19]

And may we all have a blessed evening.

[GoodGodGirl23]

Originally posted by TeriB19
And may we all have a blessed evening.


:eyes: :lol: :lol: :roll: :roll: :jam:

[allison]

Originally posted by JenRN
I am a true blonde here too!! &nbsp;BELEIVE ME &nbsp;I know all the blonde jokes and polish ones to for that matter!:D

Me too (blond). But I've always thought the blondes that dye their hair would be the more ditzy type, you know what I mean? (Stereotype, sorry.) Blond jokes do not offend me though, don't know why.

[Mulletman]

i was attracted to every ditzy, cheerleader blonde in middle school.....

[TeriB19]

But would you have married one? It's the whole Ginger/Maryann thing.

[Mulletman]

i would of gone with maryann, caue ginger would of figured out she could do better

[Mulletman]

one more qoute

<i>Words a wise man once told me:
"When someone makes you sad, its takes 48 muscles just to frown. BUT, it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that motherfucker!"</i>

[Dogstar]

LMFAO, Mulletman.....Friggin A, that's a good one!

[Mulletman]

hehe... i try

[PaulMcCoygirl]

Originally posted by Mulletman
<b>one more qoute

<i>Words a wise man once told me:
"When someone makes you sad, its takes 48 muscles just to frown. BUT, it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that motherfucker!"</i> </b>






:roll: :clap:

[Mulletman]

:D