Lady Valkyrie
10-23-2002, 12:31 AM
A friend of mine, Zoe, on a Christian message board posted this. What she said really hit home for me. I needed those words of wisdom, today. Someone on this board hurt me deeply and I flew off on one of my tangents thanks to the mental illness I suffer from. Not that I am using the illness as an excuse, mind you. It is the reason why I react the way I do. Anyway, throughout the day I was beating myself up over the way I handled things. I knew I needed to seek God yet I held back because of the fact that I was beating myself up... I felt unworthy to come to my heavenly Father in prayer. After reading Zoe's words of wisdom that she posted today... I knew what I must do.
Here is what Zoe wrote...
"When I was doing my quiet time today, I came across this verse in Romans, chapter two, verse four:
Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin?
Reading that verse made me realize how often I overlook God's goodness. I can get so caught up in my "badness", I automatically declare myself unworthy of anything He has to offer me. When I do that, it's like telling Him, "I know You're full of grace and forgiveness, but it's not enough for me. You're not enough for me." Think of how that hurts Him when we say that. Guilt is a powerful thing and something I struggle with often. But since I'm saved, through Christ, I don't have to feel guilty. My sins have already been forgiven. He doesn't see my past wrongs. And because of that, I shouldn't dwell on them and beat myself up. When I do that, I forget the truth in Romans 2:4. I forget that He's patient and kind and forgiving and tolerant. And when I forget those things, I'll eventually lose sight of His holiness. And when that happens, I'll lose sight of Him altogether. I have no idea if any of that made any sense but I felt led to sharing what He taught me today. "
I thank God for using Zoe's words to help me. I want to apologize and ask allison to forgive me. I also want to apologize and ask the rest of my fellow boardies to forgive me. I know I haven't been the easiest person to get along with. I ask that you be patient with me as I will try to be with you. It's not easy when you suffer from the mental illnesses (Borderline Personality Disorder & Bi-Polar) as I do. We are definately not easy people to get along with. Again I say that I am not using the illnesses as an excuse for my actions.... they are the reason why I react as I do. I simply have not been using the interpersonal skills that I learned in DBT (Dialetical Behavioral Therapy). Again I apologize to everyone.
May God richly bless each and everyone of you.
Here is what Zoe wrote...
"When I was doing my quiet time today, I came across this verse in Romans, chapter two, verse four:
Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin?
Reading that verse made me realize how often I overlook God's goodness. I can get so caught up in my "badness", I automatically declare myself unworthy of anything He has to offer me. When I do that, it's like telling Him, "I know You're full of grace and forgiveness, but it's not enough for me. You're not enough for me." Think of how that hurts Him when we say that. Guilt is a powerful thing and something I struggle with often. But since I'm saved, through Christ, I don't have to feel guilty. My sins have already been forgiven. He doesn't see my past wrongs. And because of that, I shouldn't dwell on them and beat myself up. When I do that, I forget the truth in Romans 2:4. I forget that He's patient and kind and forgiving and tolerant. And when I forget those things, I'll eventually lose sight of His holiness. And when that happens, I'll lose sight of Him altogether. I have no idea if any of that made any sense but I felt led to sharing what He taught me today. "
I thank God for using Zoe's words to help me. I want to apologize and ask allison to forgive me. I also want to apologize and ask the rest of my fellow boardies to forgive me. I know I haven't been the easiest person to get along with. I ask that you be patient with me as I will try to be with you. It's not easy when you suffer from the mental illnesses (Borderline Personality Disorder & Bi-Polar) as I do. We are definately not easy people to get along with. Again I say that I am not using the illnesses as an excuse for my actions.... they are the reason why I react as I do. I simply have not been using the interpersonal skills that I learned in DBT (Dialetical Behavioral Therapy). Again I apologize to everyone.
May God richly bless each and everyone of you.