Can any1 help me.....thats if you CAN help...

[GeeK_2004]

ok....
heres the deal:

My friend ashley knows this guy named James. She had went to his house like 2 or so mths. ago ( she still goes to his house....and james has some friends over besides ashley). She had mention something about me to James. And James was wondering who I was. So james went to go look me up in the yearbook to see if he knew me. Well....He didnt know/knew me.But... He had said that I was really good looking.

So.. about a day later, when ashley came home....She told me about James. James and me talks over the internet, sometimes on the phone...( I cant call james b/c he lives in a diff. county and where he lives- is long distance for me to call him and its long distance for him to call me....BUT Ashley has been calling james so me ashley and james can have a 3-way chat...).

The reason why I cant call guys (or vise-versa) Or have guys over or even go to guys house... is b/c my parents are those really strict parents....so...I cant just go over some guys house that my parents dont even know. So...I was gonna go over ashleys house for the past 1-1 1/2 mths now. My mom didnt know ashleys mom till this past monday. What happened on monday was My mom and me was in the right line to go right and ashley, her mom, and ashley's grandfather was in the left line to go left. I said that car beside us...The women in the passenger seat is her mom.so they kinda met...I guess what you can say. And now I had asked her (my mom) If i can spend the night this sat. and she had siad that she didnt know ashley's mom THAT well.

My mom doesnt even KNOW about James. If I told my mom that I was gonna go over ashleys house and then go to james house to hang out, She will not let me go. So i have been tellin her that I was gonna go just to her house.

[GeeK_2004]

And now i`m really depressed at the fact that me and james will not meet asap!!

Me and him really wants to meet each other. I dont know what to do about all this stuff...

So...If you all have ANY advice ....please tell me....

[Dogstar]

Geek_2004, I'd be against you lying to your Mom. Lying always comes back to bite you in the butt. Been there, done that and it doesn't pay. Suppose you go to spend the day at Ashley's and then you go to James' house and something happens and your Mom finds out about it. She finds out that one, something bad happened, and two, you lied to her about where you were going. Now, you're cooked twice and chances are you'll get grounded or suffer some other punishment.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mom, and I know that when I was teenager I sure didn't tell my parents everything. But in this case, if you want to get to know James and you want your parents to get to know him, you might need to tell them about him. If they can meet him and his parents, they might feel better about your spending time with him.

Btw, awesome avie!

[marlsy]

Kim, how old do you have to be to date? Can you ask your parents if he can come over for dinner? Or if you and some friends including him go to the movies? Your sixteen right?

[Lechium]

You're 18, right? I say you are old nuff to date, and if your parents have problem with it... just remeber movie Waterboy : "what momma doesnt know cant hurt her". Hidden relationships can work for longest time. My ex was with her ex for almost 2 years without her dad knowing, and half a year with me hidden too.
It's good to follow your parents will, but if they're being irrational, it's only natural to go againt them. Its not your fault thet you have to lie to your folks -- it's their fault.
Just make sure that this James guy is decent.

[GeeK_2004]

Originally posted by Dogstar
Geek_2004, I'd be against you lying to your Mom. Lying always comes back to bite you in the butt. Been there, done that and it doesn't pay. Suppose you go to spend the day at Ashley's and then you go to James' house and something happens and your Mom finds out about it. She finds out that one, something bad happened, and two, you lied to her about where you were going. Now, you're cooked twice and chances are you'll get grounded or suffer some other punishment.  
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mom, and I know that when I was teenager I sure didn't tell my parents everything. But in this case, if you want to get to know James and you want your parents to get to know him, you might need to tell them about him. If they can meet him and his parents, they might feel better about your spending time with him.

Btw, awesome avie!

umm.....his parents isnt living anymore....

[GeeK_2004]

Originally posted by marlsy
Kim, how old do you have to be to date?  Can you ask your parents if he can come over for dinner?  Or if you and some friends including him go to the movies?  Your sixteen right?


That Might be a good Idea...

I just turned 18 last mth.

[Lechium]

18 = green light on dating

Unless you belive in arranged marrige that is... I have friends who are actually.

[GeeK_2004]

Originally posted by Lechium

Just make sure that this James guy is decent.


He is a decent guy...!!

[creedgirl99]

I agree with Dogstar....

[Lechium]

Originally posted by GeeK_2004
He is a decent guy...!!

Good. So go for him.

P.S. My friend was raped by one guy who she though was decent. So go ahead, but carefully.

[Dogstar]

Geek_2004, I didn't know you were 18, but even so, as long as you are living under your parents' roof and being supported by them, I think (MHO :D) you might want to abide by their rules.
Marlsy had a good idea about having him over for dinner.

[Lechium]

2 Dog: "what momma doesnt know cant hurt her"

My roomate, was not allowed to have a girlfriend till he was 21, when he had to battle his folsk for this right big time. So he had one secretly for almost 2 years. Sometimes parents are irrational. What kind of teen are you if you dont rebel anyhow lol

P.S. I never rebelled, but when my mom learned that I got a gf she started sending me condoms, so I never had a reason to rebel haha. Reasonable folks rule.

[marlsy]

Kim, 18 , wow, how come your not allowed to date?? Are your parents religious? Well if I were you I would sit your mom down and talk to her about having him over to meet them!! If he impresses them maybe they will give you the go ahead??

[Dogstar]

Originally posted by Lechium
[B]2 Dog: "what momma doesnt know cant hurt her"
To a certain extent, I agree with that, but it's case-specific.


My roomate, was not allowed to have a girlfriend till he was 21, when he had to battle his folsk for this right big time. So he had one secretly for almost 2 years. Sometimes parents are irrational. What kind of teen are you if you dont rebel anyhow lol

If he didn't like the rules, then he should have gotten out on his own. I agree at 21 you should be able to make your own decisions about dating, but then again, perhaps your roomate was from a different culture or something. In any event, as long as your parents are paying your bills, you live by the rules they establish. If not, get out on your own. By 21, or even before that, this is entirely possible. That's what I did. My parents were very strict as well.

[whitebird]

Geek 2004-
I think that Dogstar has some goods points. Lying has never been a positive way to start any relationship. Even the person that you are trying to have the relationship with will realize that if you are willing to lie for what you want, you possibly can't be trusted in the future. When one lies once, doubts are created in the minds of the people that know about it.

[Lechium]

Well his parents are hardcore Mexiacans (old fachoned Mexican culture is strict as hell). However his younger bro was allowed to have a girl, what was sorta crazy.

Also private life, such as datig, is just that -- private. Parents can give advice, but that's af far as it can go after you're 18. If parents dont realize that relationship makes their kid happy -- they're not vert attentive parents, so their rules should be bent.

[marlsy]

well she should try to talk to her parents first off. I just can't imagine not letting my kids date at 18. But hey, who am I? They might be trying to save her from a broken heart.

[Lechium]

Broken heart is not too bad in a long run. It's an expericne, not very nice, but nessecery.

[marlsy]

yes I agree, but some really believe you shouldn't date until your looking for a life mate. That's not what I believe but I know some that do. My girls can't date until they are 16, or have boyfriends, my 13 yr old goes to middle school and I can't believe all the boys and girls that are boyfriend and girlfriend, I won't allow that, that is only asking for a broken heart and other "things" that they are NOT ready for. That is to young.

[Dogstar]

Originally posted by Lechium
Well his parents are hardcore Mexiacans (old fachoned Mexican culture is strict as hell). However his younger bro was allowed to have a girl, what was sorta crazy.

Also private life, such as datig, is just that -- private. Parents can give advice, but that's af far as it can go after you're 18. If parents dont realize that relationship makes their kid happy -- they're not vert attentive parents, so their rules should be bent.


I'll just agree to disagree with you on this one, Lechium. A person is entitled to a private life when he is out on his own and supporting himself. If your parents are footing your bills, you are accountable to them to some degree, although I agree that some boundaries for privacy on both ends is healthy and necessary. That's just my opinion. If you're 18 and considered an adult, then you have the option of leaving home and supporting yourself. It can be done, although not always easily. But if someone wants something bad enough, he or she can achieve it most of the time.

[Dogstar]

Originally posted by marlsy
<b>yes I agree, but some really believe you shouldn't date until your looking for a life mate. &nbsp; That's not what I believe but I know some that do. &nbsp;My girls can't date until they are 16, or have boyfriends, my 13 yr old goes to middle school and I can't believe all the boys and girls that are boyfriend and girlfriend, I won't allow that, that is only asking for a broken heart and other "things" that they are NOT ready for. &nbsp;That is to young. </b>

I agree; I think 16 is reasonable. I didn't when I was 16, LOL, but looking back on it, I'm glad my parents set some boundaries. Rules are a fact of life and they don't end with adulthood.

[hayley]

Can't you just talk to your mum if you are close to her, and just chat with her about guys and stuff? just come out and ask her about meeting james? cause it's way better than lying, i know it'll be shit hard, but it'll be for the best, you never know, your mum might say yes? :confused: :(

[Sheila63]

I think Dogstar and marlsy gave you some good advice, Kim. Maybe if you have him to dinner and they get to know him more as a person rather than someone they know nothing about, they'll feel more comfortable about you spending time with him.

[GeeK_2004]

Originally posted by Lechium
Good. So go for him.

P.S. My friend was raped by one guy who she though was decent. So go ahead, but carefully.
alright..!!

[GeeK_2004]

Originally posted by marlsy
Kim, 18 , wow, how come your not allowed to date?? &nbsp;Are your parents religious? &nbsp;Well if I were you I would sit your mom down and talk to her about having him over to meet them!! &nbsp;If he impresses them maybe they will give you the go ahead??

Well...the thing about me not dating and my parents not letting me date....They are REALLY REALLY strict so...

yea...I CAN date but...I gotta have the guy meet my parents and vise-versa...

[GeeK_2004]

Originally posted by marlsy
well she should try to talk to her parents first off. &nbsp;I just can't imagine not letting my kids date at 18. &nbsp;But hey, who am I? &nbsp;They might be trying to save her from a broken heart.


In my eyes ....a broken heart....(or any pain) CAN make you a stronger person....

[GeeK_2004]

Originally posted by addicted2stapp
Can't you just talk to your mum if you are close to her, and just chat with her about guys and stuff? just come out and ask her about meeting james? cause it's way better than lying, i know it'll be shit hard, but it'll be for the best, you never know, your mum might say yes? :confused: :(

Yea .....

see....I have those kind of parents that If i bring home a guy....They'll judge him on his looks and thats it....They wont ACTUALLY take the time to GET to know him...

[marlsy]

Originally posted by GeeK_2004
Well...the thing about me not dating and my parents not letting me date....They are REALLY REALLY strict so...

yea...I CAN date but...I gotta have the guy meet my parents and vise-versa...

so then why not have them meet him??

[marlsy]

so what does he look like? They won't approve? What does he have a mohawk or something? LOL

[GeeK_2004]

no he doesnt have a mohwak!!

[Lechium]

Yeah just get him over to your house to meet your folks. If they dissaprove him, but you still want him -- go behind their backs. However if there is a non conflict option you better try it first.

[JulieCitySlicker]

Oh wow! Thats really great advice Lech:rolleyes:

[GeeK_2004]

lol@JulieLovesCreed

[GeeK_2004]

But theres another problem....:mad::mad:

James had gradutaded (sp) last year. Now....What am I supose to tell my parents how I met him ???

[Lechium]

Originally posted by JulieLovesCreed
Oh wow! Thats really great advice Lech:rolleyes:
Best one I could though of lol First you try beinghonest, if that dosnt work you find a back door... sound good to me

Originally posted by GeeK_2004
But theres another problem....:mad::mad:

James had gradutaded (sp) last year. Now....What am I supose to tell my parents how I met him ???
Tell the truth. You got aquainted though a mutual friend, right? Just say that.

[GeeK_2004]

what if my parents doesnt fall for it....??