Rape

[Mulletman]

We discussed this in Psychology the other day.... so i decided to bring the fun here



If a man rapes a woman, does it matter?

What if I told you that that woman ended up being his beloved wife and the mother of his two beautiful children? What if I told you that in two weeks they are going to be celebrating their 48th anniversary, 48 years of nothing but happiness and pure love?


After knowing that, I ask again... does it mater?

[souldancer]

Originally posted by Mulletman
.... so i decided to bring the fun here
:madder: RAPE and FUN ?!

[Dogstar]

Well, I would say that's a pretty rare result when it comes to rape. I know two women who were raped and it almost destroyed one of them. So, yeah, IMHO it does matter. If you were a woman, you'd never ask that question.

[Lady Valkyrie]

As God as my witness I swear to you that the following story is true.

My grandma (Rosalie) is really my adoptive grandma. See Rosalie had a sister(Arizona) who had a total of 7 kids. Rosalie adopted 2 of Arizona's kids because Arizona's husband was a mere coal miner who was laid off and the kids were literally starving. Rosalie's husband(Henry) was also a coal miner but was working steadily. Rosalie was physically unable to have children and wanted them so badly so Henry agreed to the adoption. Those 2 kids was my egg donor and my Aunt Bessie.

Why was Rosalie unable to have children? Because Henry had raped her so severely that it permantly damaged her reproductive area. See she grew up around Henry. In fact she worked for Henry's mother helping taking care of Henry's smaller brothers and sisters. One day after work Rosalie was walking home at around dusk through the woods. Henry followed her and violently and brutally raped her. During the whole thing she listened to him tell her how much he loved her and how he wanted to marry her and make her his only.

Rosalie's father wouldn't allow her to go to the authorities for Henry's father was his #1 customer of the Moonshine he made. Her father severely abused her. For weeks and weeks Henry stalked Rosalie until finally to just get away from her father she agreed to marry Henry.

Later in life Rosalie grew fond of Henry. She readily admitted to me that she never could truely love him. And she also proudly stated that she stopped having sex with Henry in 1969. Henry died in 1975 when I was 1 year old. I'm glad I never knew him. I hate him for what he did to my grandma... and the twisted life she lived.

Grandma told me all of this when I was 14 when I had sex willingly for the first time. When I was 15 I was brutally raped by a 21 year old male I had known all my life and his 15 year old nephew who I had grown up with... two even younger nephews 12 & 13 years old watched the whole thing with big grins on their faces. When my Grandma found out she said that I deserved what I got because I was a slutty whore.

What Henry did to her traumatized her severely and for the rest of her life she did not function normally in her life. Henry never once said that he was sorry or even ackowledge what he done was wrong. I feel that a person can find peace with what happened to them but to fall in love with your rapists is purely sick and they truely need a psychiatrist and lots of counseling. Also there are many factors surrounding this. Is the rapist truely sorry for what they did and asked for forgiveness and was willing to seek professional help for it? If the answer is no... then it's the victom who needs professional help for falling in twisted perverted love with an unrepentant rapist.

[creedfaner]

Originally posted by Mulletman
We discussed this in Psychology the other day.... so i decided to bring the fun here



If a man rapes a woman, does it matter?

What if I told you that that woman ended up being his beloved wife and the mother of his two beautiful children? What if I told you that in two weeks they are going to be celebrating their 48th anniversary, 48 years of nothing but happiness and pure love?  


After knowing that, I ask again... does it mater?
It all depends on the situation...

1. If someone is raped becuase the raper is just sick, then its wrong no doubt about it.

2. In your story, it is wrong, but if the woman (or victum) is alright with it after a happy relationship. Who does give then?

[creedfaner]

Originally posted by souldancer
:madder: RAPE and FUN ?!

He didnt mean it that way SD...

Fun = the discussion.

:P

[souldancer]

....n/c right now. Thanks.

[creedfaner]

n/c?? :confused:

[Lady Valkyrie]

Originally posted by creedfaner
n/c?? :confused:

Yeah I didn't quite get that either.

[Aimee]

I think she meant "no comment" which is exactly how I feel about this discussion.

[souldancer]

Originally posted by Aimee
<b>I think she meant "no comment" which is exactly how I feel about this discussion. </b>
Thanks Aimee - that was what I meant.

" If a man rapes a woman, does it matter?" - Violence to a human being always matters, in my mind. Especially when unprovoked and towards the innocent/helpless. I was just shocked that the question could be rationalized. But, I suppose everything can now with lawyers. Curious if this was an Introductory Psych. course, abnormal or what?

[TeriB19]

I choose to stay out of this one, period.

[Mulletman]

ok ive been soo busy with school that i never go to rephrase that question. yes there are more things that go along with this question.

no this is jnot intro to psych.

no i did not mean fun as rape i meant fun as the discussion (get yer heads ou tof yer asses and read.)

ok, here is the scenerio (sp?)

teacher ased the question above and we responded like most of yall did. (those that arent planing on hunting me down anyway) then he gave us more detail into the question.

"yes he did rape her. but not violently, they were dating and they got carried away. (classic date rape scene)"

"he was 16 she was 15"

"they were dating for 6 years before they got married."

"he turned himself into the cops and was charged as a sexual offender."

"he apologized and she accepted his apology because she truely loved him"


there are more but i cant remember, the others were not as important as these here.

maybe we should just close this thread before i get skinned alive.

[TeriB19]

That's the smartest thing you've said all day.;)

[Lady Valkyrie]

"yes he did rape her. but not violently, they were dating and they got carried away. (classic date rape scene)"


That is not classic date rape... ALL RAPE IS A VIOLENT ACT... IT IS A VIOLATION AT THE UTMOST PROPRTIONS...""they" got carried away? I'm not understanding that. Were they role playing... you know pretend rape for the excitement and then when she really tried to say stop... for real... he didn't?

[Mulletman]

its kinda hard to explain.

so im stoping here. before i say something really stupid

[GoodGodGirl23]

:confused: This whole thread:confused:

[souldancer]

Originally posted by Mulletman
its kinda hard to explain.
You were brave to bring a hot, complicated case like that to a board with some HOT women ;). BTW, my head is now on my neck. Did you share the thread with your class?

[Siana]

Originally posted by Dogstar
Well, I would say that's a pretty rare result when it comes to rape. I know two women who were raped and it almost destroyed one of them. So, yeah, IMHO it does matter. If you were a woman, you'd never ask that question.

i agree

[Aimee]

Well, Mullet, just so you don't feel so alone, I'm jumping in here with you...

This raises another question in my mind. Seeing as how this girl realized her guy made a mistake and was able to forgive him, do you think it's possible for an incest victim to ever forgive her perpetrator? Considering how we can rationalize and there is always the, "well that depends" answer,

Does it depend on the level of violence?
Does it depend on if the perpetrator atones/apologizes?
Does it depend on the girl being too stupid to know otherwise?
Does it depend on how evolved a soul is?

Hmmmmmmm

[Lady Valkyrie]

I am a survivor of incest. My egg donor molested me on a regular bases from the age of 4 to 10 years old. She also prostituted herself and me as well. So I can't even count on my fingers and toes how many times I was raped and molested as a little girl by strange men with my mother standing by watching. In my child's mind as a survival thing I blocked it all out. However, when my father divorced her I was flooded with images and flashbacks of her and those strange men taking away my innocence. I struggled with this internally... I didn't even tell my husband. I confronted my mother about it one day in front of her new boyfriend. She admitted to everything without remorse. She had no apologies to offer not one tear shed. That was back in 1994... I haven't seen or talked to her since. I refuse to allow my kids to know her... she is a threat to my children seeing as she hasn't shown that she hasn't recieved help for this horrible sickness she has.

For years I was able to put it all on a shelf and not deal with it. However my one and only daughter was growing older. She was trying to deepen the mother/daughter bond with me. I kept pushing her physically and emotionally away from me. Not because I was afraid of me doing to her what was done to me. Heaven's NO I'd never do that to anyone... that is sick and perverted and intolerable to me. I'd never hurt my precious daughter. However I was still afraid to deepen any mother/daughter bond. That's when I knew it was time to deal with this issue with my mother. I started in counseling for my mental illnesses, borderline personality disorder and bi-polar, and in turn I started dealing with the issues with my mother.

Where am I at in my recovery and healing? Well, let's just say I still don't talk to my mother and I would never let my children around her. I'm not as angry anymore... some of the bitterness and hurting has dulled somewhat. Will I ever be fully healed? I don't know... I may never be fully healed. I may die with some of these issues unresolved.

Is it possible for an incest survivor to fully forgive. Sure it depends on the individual person, if the perpetraitor apologizes and recieves help, and it depends on the victims heart, soul, and mind and how much they can handle before they break. It has nothing to with "evolved souls" if there is any such thing. I mean the victim could be so traumatized that their mind shuts down... does that mean their soul isn't "evolved"? No... it just means every person has their limit before they snap some recover... others do not. Forgiveness in these cases depends on the condition the victim's heart, soul, and mind is in.

[Altair]

:wow:
That's pretty heavy! You mentioned you might never fully heal.

I'd like to believe that our troubles can make us stronger, that through perseverance, we can gain strength, and that by reaching seemingly dark and dismal lows, we might be able to achieve higher highs than we've ever dreamed of.

Lady, may you soar higher because of your experiences and may you reach new levels of compassion due to the prices you have paid. I hope you can believe in this possibility.

It all reminds me of the song, "Who's Got My Back"

"There’s still time
All that has been devastated
Can be recreated
Realize
We pick up the broken pieces
Of our lives
Giving ourselves to each other…
ourselves to each other
To rest our head on."

Before humanity can reach the promised land, we'll need to resolve our differences, learn to forgive, and sink our teeth deep into the fruits of compassion.

[Lady Valkyrie]

Altair I must thank you for your kind words. They really do touch me. Thank you so much.

After I posted my story I listened to this song by our beloved guys. I had a good cleansing cry. I fell asleep listening to this song on repeat. When I woke up it was by my daughter who had just come home from school. She was singing this song word for word along with the CD, guys! It just touched me deep inside.

She came calling
One early morning
She showed her crown of thorns

She whispered softly
To tell a story
About how she had been wronged

As she lay lifeless
He stole her innocence
And this is how she carried on

Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything's alright
But she could not hide her tears
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years

My anger's violent
But still I'm silent
When tragedy strikes at home

I know this decadence
Is shared by millions
Remember you're not alone

For we have crossed many oceans
And we labor in between
In life there are many quotients
And I hope I find the mean

Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything's alright
But she could not hide her tears
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years

[souldancer]

Altair, always great to feel your presence here.

[Siana]

yes :)